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"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."
~Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
This quote describes the essence of Narcissism. The Narcissist has no integrity. He thinks he is entitled to have integrity without earning it through his actions. The narcissist has no original actions, either. Everything he says, or does, or believes, he has stolen from someone else, usually someone he perceives as an authority figure. For example, he might read a few pages of a book, and then he sees himself as an expert on the subject, and has the audacity to try and teach others (usually YOU) on the subject, as though he were an authority on the subject. It doesn't matter what the subject is, because the Narcissist is an authority on EVERY subject. All he has to do is read an article, or see a TV show - whatever - and his distorted mind goes into action. His mind is like a sponge, absorbing bits of information from everyone and everything he comes in contact with, then incorporating it as his own. He has an opinion on every subject, and his opinion is THE opinion. He will even go so far as to argue with someone who is a known authority on the subject, as though he knows more than the other person. The really funny, and sad thing is - he does not even realize how transparent he is. And he is transparent, once you learn how to spot the lies, deceipt, and manipulation. The narcissist is nothing but an empty shell, wearing a mask. He is a superficial, lazy opportunist. He is an arrogant, haughty, obnoxious, pompous ass. He has few friends. That's why he depends on YOU so much. You are his audience of one. A Narcissist can be as demanding of your time and energy as an ornery four-year-old. But here's the difference - even four-year-olds can learn how to return love. But the Narcissist never does; like a vampire, he will take all you can give but give nothing back, then he will curse you when you are totally depleted, and discard you as a waste of his precious time. As a matter of fact, a Narcissist is like an ornery four-year-old his entire life. "They will attack you (sometimes physically) and spew a load of bile, insult, abuse, contempt, threats, etc., and then -- well, it's kind of like they had indigestion and the vicious tirade worked like a burp: "There. Now I feel better. Where were we?" They feel better, so they expect you to feel better, too. They will say you are nothing, worthless, and turn around immediately and say that they love you. When you object to this kind of treatment, they will say, "You just have to accept me the way I am. (God made me this way, so God loves me even if you are too stupid to understand how special I am.)" Accepting them as they are (and staying away from them entirely) is excellent advice. The other "punishment" narcissists mete out is banishing you from their glorious presence -- this can turn into a farce, since by this point you are probably praying to be rescued, "Dear God! How do I get out of this?" The narcissist expects that you will be devastated by the withdrawal of her/his divine attention, so that after a while -- a few weeks or months (i.e., the next time the narcissist needs to use you for something) -- the narcissist will expect you to have learned your lesson and be eager to return to the fold. If you have learned your lesson, you won't answer that call." ~ Joanna Ashmun, from www.halcyon.com It has been estimated that 1 - 3% of the population is narcissistic. That means that 1 - 3 out of every 10 people. How many do you know? Narcissists ARE abusive. They will mete out any kind of punishment that suits their needs. However, because they are skilled orators and manipulators, their preferred brand of abuse is verbal, psychological, and emotional. Narcissism is a personality disorder. A personality disorder is a disorder of the mind, of thought patterns, and behavior that begins in childhood. Many experts in the field believe that early childhood experiences play a pivotal role in the development of narcissism. NPD, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, is one of a cluster of personality disorders (called Cluster B) that are very similar. The others in the cluster are Histrionic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Antisocial Personality Disorder. Narcissists are predominantly male. Borderlines are predominantly female (I call them female narcissists); Histrionics are predominantly female, and Antisocials are predominantly male. However, you will find either sex in all of them. Otto Kernberg MD, a legendary thought leader in the study of personality disorders, coined the term "malignant narcissism" to describe a syndrome of narcissism that went beyond Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Malignant narcissism is like NPD on pathological steroids, manifesting additional antisocial features, paranoid traits, and ego-syntonic aggression. Kernberg believed that malignant narcissism was part of a spectrum of narcissistic behavior; ranging from NPD, at the low end, to malignant narcissism, and with psychopathy representing the high end of narcissistic severity.
Spectrum of Narcissism
Psychopaths can almost be thought of as emotionally disabled in that they appear to experience a very limited range of emotion. They know the difference between what society considers “right” and “wrong,” but do not experience, and cannot empathize with, the feelings of suffering, remorse, elation and love that are normally part of the human experience.
Kernberg differentiated psychopathy from malignant narcissism based on his assessment that psychopaths are so resistant to external influences that they are unlikely to internalize even the values of the "aggressor." Psychopaths are unable to emotionally identify with others. In contrast, he believed narcissists to have the capacity to identify with and admire powerful people, “which permits at least some loyalty and good object relations to be internalized." However, all three levels of narcissistic behavior pathology share the common threads of extreme self-absorption and insensitivity that often result in a trail of victims--emotional wreckage left in the narcissist’s wake (Kernberg 2003, 2004).
Additional Narcissism Resources
Kernberg, Otto (2004) Aggressivity, Narcissism, and Self-Destructiveness in the Psychotherapeutic Relationship: New Developments in the Psychopathology and Psychotherapy of Severe Personality Disorders.
Kernberg, Otto and Akhtar, Salman. (2003) Broken Structures: Severe Personality Disorders and Their Treatment.
Vaknin, S (1999-2007). Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited.
Wikipedia: Narcissism and Malignant Narcissism
American Psychiatric Association APA (2000) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR)
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