The Perfect Prey

 

This is a subject that is probably the most important I have written about thus far.  The information I give you could open your eyes (this is what Night Vision is about, after all)and hopefully stop the vicious cycle of victimization.

A woman who has been in an abusive relationship, regardless of the type of relationship (daughter, sister, mother, wife, girlfriend) may wonder how it is that they keep finding their self being victimized – I know I have. I have actually wondered if I’m wearing a sign on my forehead that says “Here, over here! I’m a sucker”!

What I discovered is that predators – and I do not use this term lightly – can spot the perfect prey from across a room, across the street, across an aisle, etc., or even at work, or at school, or at church, yes, church, or virtually anywhere, because the perfect prey, meaning you and I, portray to them that we are ripe and ready. We do, indeed, wear an invisible sign on our foreheads, and the predator sees this sign, and he sees it because he has learned how to read our facial expressions, the way we talk, the way we walk, the way we stand, the way we laugh, even the subtle inflections in our eyes, and our voice.

Each and every person on this earth gives off energy, whether it be happy, or sad, or depressed, or snobbish, or arrogant – the list is endless, really. The energy that is inside us is manifested through our interaction with other people. Have you ever heard the expression “He/she sucks the energy right out of a room”? This is what I’m talking about. If you can learn how to “read” this energy (which is what Night Vision is all about), you can learn to protect yourself from being the perfect prey, and, in the meantime, or down the road, actually learn how to spot a winner! Of course, you will also learn how to spot a loser, and that is the absolute goal here! It’s not as easy as it sounds, of course,but with practice will get easier.

A good way to start learning is by studying animals, especially dogs. I know, this may sound strange, but think about it; dogs behave by pure instinct.

One of my favorite people is Caesar Milan, AKA The Dog Whisperer. This man knows dogs; I do believe he has worked with them since he was a young boy. What he has learned helps him to understand problem behavior of dogs from owners’ eyes, and owners’ behavior from dogs’ eyes. If you have a dog, study how your dog behaves with certain people who come into your home on a fairly regular basis. For example, a few years after I got divorced, I started dating a friend from work. Whenever he came over, my dog was very timid, even skittish. I knew from watching this that this man did not like my dog, ( thus the skittishness) and it wasn’t much later that I realized some things about this man that I didn’t know until I started to date him. My dog’s reaction was telling me to be careful.

One thing I find amusing, though, is that my dog never barked at my ex-husband (well, maybe once). After that, she took right to him.

About three years after our divorce, I told my daughters that if they wanted, they could invite their Dad to our apartment for holiday dinners.  There were two reasons for this: (1) Since my Mother passed away six days before Christmas 2005, the holidays were very difficult for me to get through. Having him there, in an odd way, helped me get through it. After all, we were married for 21 years, and (2) I did it for my daughters, so they could celebrate the holidays with both parents.

You may be thinking “If he abused her, why does she allow him to be around”? He was abusive, yes, but his style was more passive than aggressive.  In other words, it was more what he didn’t do than what he did do.  However, as I mentioned in the introduction, I have been abused in every way, by different people in my life, since I was around five or six years old.